And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
