I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
