do herpes really smell.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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