It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Sober January is a disaster.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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