sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
