Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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