No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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