Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
