Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
