I'm sorry my penis didn't work
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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