Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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