Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
