You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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