I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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