You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
