Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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