Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
