these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
