This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
