he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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