Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
