i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
