my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
