TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
