Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
