i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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