I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well I just put wine in my tea
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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