Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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