I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
