the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
