So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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