Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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