whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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