she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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