is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will be naked everywhere
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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