I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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