the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
