Pappa wants mamma naked
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
