This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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