Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have already put on my inside pants.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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