I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
