You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
