apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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