I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
