His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
