I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
