I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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