he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
