Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
