Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
